What Am I Doing?

I talked to Ralf last night and he really shed some light on some things.

Every day I keep thinking, what am I doing? If Trump doesn't want to be in a relationship with me, why am I sticking around? It really is time for me to get over this. Just talking to Ralf -- whom I have determined is a normal guy and thus can give me a straight answer to my guy questions -- really opened my eyes.

Ralf was explaining to me what it means when a man likes a woman versus being "attracted" to her. Trump once told me, "I'm attracted to you and that's all I can say right now." I should have thrown him out of my apartment. I didn't of course. Darn.

What a slap in the face!

Seriously, what am I doing? Yes, I really like Trump, but why? I have to get over this. He is not thinking about me, calling me or wanting to be with me. Here I am hundreds of miles away wondering why the one person on this earth that I want to be with doesn't want to be with me.

I have done soooooo much to get his attention and try to make him fall for me. All to no avail. I wonder when he decided that I wasn't right for him. I wonder if he ever thought that maybe I might be. This totally and completely sucks. I am not involving myself in a pseudo-relationship EVER again.

Last night Ralf and I were talking and I explained to him a little bit about what was going on with me and Trump (obviously leaving out the big things). And he said, "Well you're salty, but at least you haven't given anything. So, you haven't lost anything."

I wish that were true.