What am I doing?
Honestly.
The Caribbean texts me asking me to come over and I'd rather sulk at home half-hoping and waiting for the text message or call from Trump that will, more than likely, never come.
This is the story of my life.
Someone likes me and I like someone else. Ugh. This is terrible!
It wasn't always this way with the Caribbean. I feel like more and more I am over him. I thought I really liked him, but the more I get to know him, the more I realize that we're not really right for each other.
I don't know if it is because he insisted on having sex with me, he patronizes me, goes on and on and on about how great it is that he works for the Hawks or what. He is so incredibly nice to me. He cares about me.
Or does he just want to be with someone and I happen to be that girl?
I feel like that is the case with us.
I feel like I am being rushed like this is too much too soon and I'm about to leave anyway.
But how much of this, if anything, has to do with Trump?
This is ridiculous.
This will not be my life.
I will marry someone that I love and will not have the slightest feelings for anyone else.
This is why I have to get over it. I will not pine after Trump while wonderful men who like me pass me by. I haven't been doing that though, really. I mean James and Sam were nice enough but neither were my type at all. And I feel that with the Caribbean, God is preventing me from liking him, knowing that it will only lead to disaster.
I don't know. This is so ridiculous. I am tired of feeling this way.
I just don't like the Caribbean that much. We don't have hardly anything in common. Sometimes we just sit on the phone in silence. Me, silent. Imagine that! But we just don't mesh. But do we not mesh because of Trump or just because we don't mesh? I need to stop getting myself in these situations -- liking guys at first then realizing we have virtually nothing in common so I stop liking them. It's high-time that I met someone whom I like that likes me.
Is that so hard?
Saturday, December 6, 2008
What Am I Doing?
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