Random Thoughts at 5am

I guess I just feel like Trump never really gave me a chance. Did he ever try to get to know me? I mean, we talk and stuff but we know each other largely in the context of being together alone. We've never spent real time together during the day or with friends or family or anything.

I just feel like he never gave me a chance. I am still SO upset about this entire situation. What was I to him? Absolutely nothing. Not even good enough for a daily text message. This is incredible to me. He totally used and discarded me whenever he wanted.

Why have I let this go on for a YEAR? I've put so much heart into him and got absolutely nothing in return. He never even gave me the chance to love him. He never gave me the chance to be the person for him that I know I could be.

I feel like he lied to me about the whole Rachel* situation. It's all a lie. It may be true that he isn't "attracted" to her, but I don't buy that. Those two will probably get married and in the meantime, girls like me will be commodities to stroke his ego.

I hate him. I hate myself for letting him treat me like crap for so long.

He has never went out of his way for me. Because I don't matter to him at all. I never did. No one has ever treated me as terrible as he is treating me now. Why in the world doesn't he care? There is no real answer to that question. Never has been. Never will be.

Oh well.